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By Doug, January 22, 2010 22:03

Do you love clowns or hate them?  What about dolls, like those creepy ones in movies?  What about clown dolls!?  It’s enough to send shivers down your spine.

The Klown Doll Museum in Plainview (its full and proper name) houses a collection of 4,500 nightmares-in-waiting that’ll provide you with countless sleepless nights.  If you like clowns and you like dolls then the Klown Doll Museum (in Plainview) will satisfy your horribly strange and spooky obsession.  I mean, seriously, can you imagine walking through this place at night with nothing but a wax candle to light your way?  Can’t you just hear the pitter-patter sounds of those grotesque clown dolls as they move through the shadows, lurking, ready to pounce?  All those creepy dolls staring at you through those messed up, unblinking eyes looking straight into your soul?  How could you turn your back on any of them—they’d drive a butcher’s knife right through you!  Over and over and over again. 

Sorry, my mind drifted again, but those things are really bizarre.

Oh, and why do they call it the Klown Doll Museum (in Plainview) instead of the Clown Doll Museum (in Plainview)?  Apparently there was a Klown Band in the town 50 years ago and the unusual spelling stuck.  Klowns or clowns, if you want to see them, go to Nebraska.  Happy dreams.

The Klown Doll Museum of Plainview

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By Doug, January 13, 2010 21:50

Seneca Falls, New York, is the home of the National Woman’s Hall of Fame where their motto is “come stand among great women.”  Well, here are a few of the “great women” one can stand among:

Amelia Earhart is famous for her trip aboard a Lockheed Electra L-10E, where she attempted to circumnavigate the globe but got lost, crashed and died (along with her navigator) instead.  But what many people don’t know is that before that fateful trip, on March 22, 1937, Amelia prepared to take off from Luke Field in Hawaii for a similar attempt to fly around the world.  But, she overloaded her plane, ground looped it and crashed.  Pilot error was cited.  Crashing seemed to be a nasty habit of hers.  Incidentally, Wiley Post (arguably much less famous than Amelia Earhart) was the first person to circumnavigate the world (solo) in July, 1937.

Helen Keller is another famous woman in the NWHF.  Helen is famous for being deaf, dumb and blind.  But more importantly, she is the inspiration for a number of wonderful jokes like “if Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?” and “Why can’t Helen Keller drive—because she’s a woman!”

Sacagawea (or however you want to spell/pronounce it).  In spite of what others have said, if you actually read the journals of Louis and Clark, Sacajawea provided interpretive services for the group and helped guide them during their trip through her native lands.  Other than that, she was basically along for the ride.  Considering Lewis and Clark were able to navigate and communicate effectively during other parts of their journey where Sakakawea wasn’t able to provide services, her actual value is questionable.

Naturally, there are a lot of women in the National Women’s Hall of Fame who have provided great value to society (Lucille Ball, Julia Child, Annie Oakley, Rosa Parks) and are not just “the first woman who…”  But, there are plenty of figureheads in the NWHF for those who are interested in woman who are famous for any reason whatsoever.  Unfortunately, what’s truly missing from the museum (excuse me, hall of fame) are countless women like the pioneers who crossed the country in covered wagons, giving birth along the way and hardly stopping long enough to squat.  But, glory seems to have more to do with good marketing than actual achievement.

National Women’s Hall of Fame

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By Doug, December 26, 2009 14:32

What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

Before we get to the answer, let’s take trip to North Carolina and see Dale Earnhardt Plaza, a one-acre park in Dale’s home of Kannapolis.  This is where Dale learned to drive fast and turn left around Idiot’s Circle, winning the hearts and minds (?) of the NASCAR-centric Southeast.

The center of the one-acre park showcases a 9-foot tall, 900-pound bronze statue of Dale created by Arizona artist Clyde Ross.  Dale stands there, bigger than life, with his muscular arms crossed and a knowing grin on his face.  Though not wearing his iconic sunglasses, he is sporting his 1970’s era, pornstar-style mustache.  Surrounding Earnhardt are various subtle tributes to the number three, his seven Winston Cup Championship (smoke ‘em if you got ‘em) trophies and more.

As long as you’re in town and you’re a fan of Dale’s (why else would you be there?), you might at well visit some of the other Dale Earnhardt places of worship like the nearby Dale Earnhardt Tribute Center, located just one convenient block away from the plaza.

Oh, what do Dale and Pink Floyd have in common?  Their last big hit was the wall!

Dale Earnhardt Plaza

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By Doug, December 20, 2009 15:03

The UFO Museum and Research Center, Roswell, NM.

The UFO Museum and Research Center (no, it’s not just your average tourist trap, this place does some legitimate science!), along with all the other UFO-related crap that makes up Roswell New Mexico, is an attempt by a small-town-in-the-middle-of-nowhere to capitalize on the mania surrounding the claims of a flying saucer crash in 1947.  Yes indeed, little green (or rather, gray) men from outer space traveled many light years through the galaxy but somehow managed to crash into the desert just as they were about to reach their destination and you can find out all the juicy details at the UFO Museum.

Nobody knows exactly why the saucer crashed but many theories have surfaced including female aliens at the helm “freshening up” their faces in the rear-view mirror, distraction by an intergalactic cell phone call and (perhaps the most plausible) the aliens believing there would be another gas station just up the road a bit (if you’ve ever driven through New Mexico, you can understand their mistake).  There are other theories but if you’ve got a better one, hey, leave it in the comment box below!

Flash forward half a century and little green men are the biggest industry in town.  There’s a UFO festival and the whole town seems to be trying to get their share of the tourists’ money.  The little green man seems to be everywhere!

Roswell is 200 plus miles from any large city including Amarillo, Lubbock and El Paso, Texas, Albuquerque, NM and Las Cruces, NM. A majority of our visitors make a point to come to Roswell to see the museum and be in the city where the best known UFO crash and cover-up occurred. While in Roswell, they in the least buy gas and a soda or they may spend a week learning about the phenomena and Roswell.

The UFO Museum itself starts out with a map of the world where you can place a pin on your hometown.  Next up, various World War II-era black and white photographs of people and airplanes.  But, things start getting good when we get to the room of war-surplus equipment with a model of the flying saucer crash site (think model train layout and a paper plate painted silver).  Naturally, we get to the part of “The Great Cover Up” where we learn how the evil government is hiding all this wonderful technology from us because we just can’t handle the truth.  Then, there’s an entire room full of proof (no, not physical evidence, newspaper clippings!) aliens exist including crop circles, Area 51, etc.  Finally, there’s the big finale:  an ACTUAL alien autopsy mockup!  It doesn’t get any better than this.  No, really, it doesn’t get any better; that’s about all there is to this place.

Now, you’d think the gift shop would be world-class (can you say “My dad was abducted by an Alien in Roswell and I all I got was this stupid T-shirt” T-shirt?) but their stuff is mostly quite unimaginative.  It’s mostly your run-of-the-mill stuff (hats, coffee mugs, key chains, etc.) with “Roswell” and/or the classic alien head printed on it.  However, there is a rather clever T-shirt along the lines of “born to ride.”

Whether you believe in flying saucers or not, a trip to Roswell and the UFO Museum and Research Center is fun and campy.  Be sure to check out their plans for a new museum—it looks like a cross between Seattle’s Experience Music Project and Disneyland’s Space Mountain!

UFO Museum and Research Center

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By Doug, December 5, 2009 20:45

The Mona Lisa, made from Legos, at the Toy and Plastic Brick Museum in Bellaire, Ohio.

The “Toy and Plastic Brick Museum” in Bellaire, Ohio houses the world’s largest collection of Lego building sets.  So, why isn’t it called the Lego Museum?  Ask a lawyer.  Apparently, Lego didn’t appreciate anybody else using its name for profit.

Sure, you can go to Legoland in California or see great Lego displays at Disneyland or Walt Disney World but that would be mundane.  Why not spend just 10% of the price to get into Disneyland and see a bunch of old Lego building sets!?  Uh, maybe you shouldn’t consider that value proposition too closely…

I think Legos were my favorite toy as a kid.  How about you?  What was your Lego masterpiece?

Toy and Plastic Brick Museum

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By Doug, December 4, 2009 21:24

Santa Claus House, North Pole, Alaska

Ho, ho, ho!  No, it’s not the Green Giant (this time) it’s good ol’ Santa Clause and he’s at his home at the North Pole!  North Pole, Alaska that is.  You (and your kids) can visit Santa, his 50’ plastic statue and some of his reindeer while staying at the nearby, luxurious-by-Alaska-standards, Santaland RV Park! 

Christmas Eve. The sharp, pungent scent of pine. The reflection of twinkling, colored lights in every window and mirror. The scent of gingerbread. Stockings carefully hung. Milk and cookies left for Santa. The joyful anticipation of unknown treasures when morning finally arrived. The temptation to stay up into the wee hours of the night, to catch a glimpse of Santa’s cherry red coat or team of magical reindeer.

If you can’t fly all the way to Fairbanks you can at least send Santa a letter and he’ll send one in return, for about $10.  Hey, those elves don’t work for free!

Santa Claus House

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By Doug, December 4, 2009 19:56

The Lunchbox Museum, Columbus, Georgia.

We all had them, didn’t we?  Those cool metal lunchboxes we toted to school every day with our peanut butter and jelly sandwich and maybe, if we were lucky, a Jell-O pudding cup!  Mine was a school bus with Mickey and his friends but I remember other kids who had Scooby and the gang, Bugs Bunny or maybe Barbie, if you were a “yucky” girl.

He [Allen Woodall] began collecting lunch boxes a mere four years ago, because, as he puts it, “they’re just so neat!” He now has more than 1,000 lunch boxes and related items, including thermoses, coolers and even tobacco tins that doubled as lunch boxes.

Of course, if there’s something to collect, someone will collect it and eventually decide the world needs a museum to house the prized collection.  Lunchboxes are no exception!  The “World’s Largest” lunchbox museum is in Columbus, Georgia (conveniently located near the old farmers’ market in the historic downtown area).

The Lunchbox Museum

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By Doug, July 18, 2009 02:44

The Hobo Museum in Britt, Iowa.

Believe it or not, there’s a difference between a hobo, a tramp and a bum.  Basically, a hobo travels in order to work (a migrant worker is a type of hobo) and a tramp travels but doesn’t do work.  A bum doesn’t travel around and doesn’t work, either.

The Hobo Museum, in Britt, Iowa has photos, various contraptions used by hobos, railroad memorabilia, etc.  There’s also a hobo cemetery one can visit to pay their, well, respects to various hobos of note.  A visit to the gift shop is a must; one can buy various hobo-made oddities like wood carvings, “monkey fists” (apparently the symbol of all official hobos) and more.

Each year, the town hosts a Hobo Convention where folks come by the thousands to do what it is hobos do.  There’s a parade, flea market, concerts and Mulligan Stew to serve 5,000!

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By Doug, July 17, 2009 03:01

Museum of Family Camping

Allenstown, New Hampshire is the home of the Museum of Family Camping. It’s located in the old Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) dining hall within Bear Brook State Park, along with a couple of other museums that may (or may not) be of interest. The museum was conceived by Roy Heise and opened in 1993.

The Museum has a story to tell its visitors: The story of manufactured products used in camping; the story of families, groups, and individuals as they share the outdoors; the story of parks and campgrounds that welcome campers for recreation and fellowship.

Sounds like three stories to me. But, if you like camping, it’s worth a visit to the museum just so you can see some of the old camping gear like the canvas tent; you won’t complain as much about backpacking with a modern tent after seeing the stuff people used to lug around!

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By Doug, July 16, 2009 03:25

W'eel

Looking like something out of a 1950’s “B” horror movie, W’eel is a giant turtle statue situated comfortably near the Turtle Mountains in Dunseith, North Dakota.  It was erected in 1982 by George Gottbreht to draw people to his nearby store.  It’s made entirely of wheel rims, welded together and the head is mounted on a pivot so it can bob up and down.